Tuesday, July 5, 2011

okay this movie is called dead calm and its a drama

easter egg i noticed: you can see that the sea itself is calm

hi i'm reviewing a movie called dead calm!

right now our "captain" timefishblue is researching the next exciting movie featuring sailing! He's off in the "pacific", sailing up a good review!

Everytime I go on the "poop deck" (that is what we call the internet) checking mr fishblue's emails, there are tons sayin stuff like

"give us more"
-sarah javis, quebec, canada

"your [sic] better than conan"
-sandro brisebois, san domenico soriano, italy

"why aren't there more of these posts"
-teitur magnason, hofsós, iceland

we're always making new blog posts down here at the "sailboat", but these things take time.

Our "captain" (he really is our captain though) called me on the phone this morning! This is an excellent chance to use our patented phone transcript technology. We've been sitting on this pretty thing for quite a while now!

this isn't what i wanted but the picture man doesn't speak english i think? or he is rude

Foretopman Fenton: Hello, You've reached Attack of the Sailing Movies, Award-Winning International Multisensory Blog.

Mr. TFB: Look kid, revenue's down. Way down. We need a new post, see? Or we're sunk, SUNK, you hear me?! Get it in by three, or you'll be getting out! Out on the street. You're young, single, just floating around and living it up. Me? I got a family to feed, bub!

Foretopman Fention: Oh my gosh, hello sir!

Mr: TFB: I'll be honest with you. I got us into a tight place. I blew most of our budget on the Last Crusade post. And the special effects guy, Manny Whatshisface, really went to town on it. It was a fiasco.
No more .pngs. It's .gifs--NOT animated--until we're in the black.
Get it done. [Hangs up]

Foretopman Fenton: right away!

so that is why i am reviewing a movie called dead calm.

i'm really sorry this isn't what i wanted at all

dead calm features stars such as Sam Keil and Nicole Kidman and Billy Zane.

I remember Nicole Kidman was in a movie called The Stepford Wives!
The Stepford Wives was a movie about wives that became robots. I wasn't allowed to see it though. It's okay because i understand there are very few sailing scenes and there were scary parts? I think. I will confirm this fact later.

so you are probably wondering: was Nicole Kidman a wife in this feature? she is! She is married to John Ingram.

In this paragraph I will give the main summary. An Australian couple take a sailing trip in the Pacific to forget about a terrible accident. While on the open sea, in dead calm, they come across a ship with one survivor who is not at all what he seems.

Sounds crazy, right?? I know!

I think it's pretty good! The movie is about how when you're in the middle of nowhere, there is nowhere to hide. I think this is a really good lesson.

imagine a picture of one of the stars giving a "thumbs up" here
I award this film 7 out of 7 sailboat sails. The drama is almost too much at times! But it never is and you'll like it.

the end

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